Chapter VI: The Last Xanax I scratched for the last two Xanax in the bottom of my purse as the doctor opened the sliding glass door. “I think we are going to try waking him up today,” she began. She smiled, per The Hippocratic Oath, and rubbed her hands with sanitizer. She stared at his […]

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CHAPTER V: Dead Man Walking Staring at a ventilator makes you question everything. With each force of air, I tried to consider how we got here: he was dying and I was struggling with bouts of suicidal ideation. “You have to live for your kids,” was usually the only resolution anyone ever offered. Sometimes, “Accept […]

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CHAPTER IV: Sometimes They Do That “You may want to step out,” the doctor warned. She smiled, like doctors with bad news do, and I took a step back. The nurses gave a quiet count to three and with a gentle tug of a thin sheet, pulled his body, with wires still attached, to its […]

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Chapter III: That Hospital Chair I wasn’t pregnant long enough to have stretch marks. The baby didn’t grow. Didn’t eat. Didn’t thrive. All of the bloodwork made my arms sore. Vaginal suppositories. Vitamins. Morning sickness. None of it mattered in the end and we found ourselves enduring an at home birth over the toilet. “Whatever […]

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